Daren't
by stress
Summary: Jenny has a secret, and a fear.  She's afraid that she's falling for the Shadow Man.  Julian/Jenny.  Set during The Hunter.


**Disclaimer**: The characters in this story are the property of LJ Smith and are only used for fan related purposes. Any dialogue, including the riddle, is taken from the text and is only used to further the story. The quote: "We daren't go a-hunting, for fear of little men" is from the poem "The Fairies" by William Allingham.

* * *

**Daren't**

* * *

Jenny has a secret, and a fear.

It's not _the _secret and it's not _the_ fear that's kept her from remembering these last eleven years. It's not the reason she left her square of white paper blank or why she struggles through Dee's nightmare, knowing that hers is infinitely worse than being probed by aliens. And then she follows Audrey through her nightmare, she's being taken to see the Erlking and it hits her all at once.

It's him. It's Julian.

He finds reasons for them to be alone, to be together, first at the More Games store, then in the house, and now as he masquerades as the Erlking. He's striking, a sight to behold, and after the dark elves with their flippers for hands and hooves for feet, a welcome change.

Except he has the power to kill them all. Except he's trapped them in his world, his realm, and he's playing with their lives for her love. He gives her the silver rose, he steals the touch of her hand and she pretends to be angry.

Because Jenny has a secret. She's afraid that she's falling for the Shadow Man.

* * *

He's so good at being bad. He's so good, that is, at being evil, at being dark and capricious and cruel, that it's easy to forget, easy to pretend he's a real boy, a real boy who loves her, a real boy who's everything Tom Locke isn't (but she loves Tom, she has to save him, she _will save him_). Those electric blue eyes hidden behind the dark fringe of his lashes give her a jolt every time they fall on her, she can't help but marvel at his beauty, and she's forever being drawn in to him.

Julian's doing it on purpose. He's playing the game and he's _winning._

He's a trickster, taking what he wants, never worrying about the price. He tricks her, first allowing himself to touch her hair, then her hand, as if slowly but surely he's taking everything she is, everything that's _hers_, and there's nothing she can do about it. She's enchanted, he's enchanting, and she always falls for his tricks (and then she falls for _him_).

How can she ignore him when he loves her so much?

How does he even know what love _is_?

* * *

_I am just two and two.  
I am hot, I am cold.  
I am the parent of numbers that cannot be told.  
I'm a gift beyond measure, a matter of course.  
And I'm yielded with pleasure when taken by force._

The kiss. It's a simple answer to a not-so-simple riddle, and Jenny's pride at figuring it out is only dashed when Julian reminds her of the terms. If she wants him to free one of her friends, she has to _give_ him the answer—he wants a kiss.

Why is it that she wants a kiss, too?

But she doesn't give in. She won't give in. She's stubborn, she still has some pride, and the line about a kiss being forcibly taken has hit too close to home for her. But she doesn't have to give in because he's too clever for her. He has no morals, because his race, his people, what do they need them for? He's powerful, he sees things differently than Jenny, from mortals because he's _not_ mortal. What he wants, he takes. What he can't just take, he'll find a way to steal. And he does.

Disguising himself as Zach, he steals his kiss and Jenny knows the moment their lips touch, the moment her fingers touch the soft bleach-blond hair, the moment she gives herself to him and she knows that she would never take it back.

He tastes like everything she's ever hungered for and more, and she'd go back for a second bite if she could.

She can't (though she really wants to).

* * *

Don't talk to strangers.

Don't stay out after dark.

Don't pet stray animals (or name them Cosette).

Don't go to the wrong side of town an hour before your boyfriend's birthday, hoping for the best gift you can find on a budget and no time.

Jenny didn't mean to disobey, she just never understood why she had to listen. The rules never seemed to apply to her, and when a Shadow Man is following you, watching you, protecting you, _loving _you… well, it's no wonder.

Jenny feels like her whole life has been a lie. Right now the game—_Julian_—is the only truth.

She feels her nightmare chasing her, her past, and no matter how fast she runs, she can't get away.

* * *

Somehow she's not surprised that her biggest secret, her biggest fear, the nightmares she's lived with since she was a little girl (she was a little girl, why would he want a little girl?)… it's Julian. It's always been Julian.

He's gone, she's still there and the cadet blue crayon in her hand nearly snaps under pressure. But she draws, she draws if only to prove that she's not afraid of him, of her past, of everything she's tried so hard to forget (she's not even fooling herself).

It's just as she remembers, if smaller and more bleak (but, then again, it _is _her nightmare).

Her grandfather's not there, but he hadn't been that day. It was just Jenny, five-year-old naïve Jenny with the scab on her knee and innocent surrounding her like a bright halo. Sixteen-year-old Jenny's heart stops beating, her stomach twists and she watches the film of her past, following herself and _remembering_.

Ice and shadows, that's what she remembers. A closet full of eyes.

There's a pair of electric blue _beautiful _eyes and a voice like elemental music claiming, "I want her."

But the Shadow Men take her grandfather instead, and Jenny forgets everything but the heart-wrenching sobs of a childhood lost.

* * *

Aliens, she tells Dee. Dark elves, she tells Audrey. Demons to Michael, Shadow Men to Zach. She keeps going. She understands now.

Dakaki.

The Erlking.

The old gods.

The fairy folk.

_We daren't go a-hunting, for fear of little men…_

* * *

She's made it to the turret, they all made it to the top of this mad house (no, not all, Jenny remembers with a sharp, shooting pang), and there's Tom—

—and there's Julian.

He's so beautiful. She's struck by the sight of him, instantly alert, drinking him in as if this is the last look she'll get (not that she thinks it'll be that easy, because the daring look in his suddenly dark eyes tell her otherwise). Her gaze lingers on him longer than it should and the terror strikes her down.

She is absolutely frightened, frightened of him, frightened of his love for her, frightened of how much she wants to kiss him and then run past him, back to her world. He won't let her, she sees now that he never had any intention of letting her go, and now she's even more desperate to make sure he lets her friends leave.

The way he taunts Tom, the way he flipped Dee, the way he looks at her with such hunger in his eyes… Jenny knows what to do (what she shouldn't do, but she'll do nonetheless).

"Let the others go and I'll stay with you."

* * *

Like a magician preparing for his great trick, Julian moves his hand this way and that and suddenly a gold circlet appears. It's a ring, a promise ring, and he offers it to her with solemn words that can't (won't) be broken.

She takes it. The others gasp, she can feel the heat of the eyes, the hurt of Tom's pain at her betrayal, and she can't explain. So tells them she can't explain, she doesn't know what she's going to do herself though she hopes like hell she does, and don't they know that this is something she _has_ to do? For them… and for her.

Julian's watching her carefully so she looks down at his ring. There's an inscription.

_All I refuse & thee I chuse_.

He tells her its promise is binding. He's testing her, testing her devotion, testing her change of heart (being heartless himself, it's no surprise he's careful). Jenny is innocent. Jenny doesn't lie. Jenny keeps her promises.

The game does strange things to people.

She accepts.

* * *

Jenny has a fear, and a secret.

The ring feels as cold as ice as it weighs heavily on her finger. She loses herself in his kiss and is almost sorry when he pulls away first. What's done is done now, there's no going back. The tiger caught its goat, the dark Shadow Man found his light queen.

She's trembling, and he asks almost kindly, almost gently, "Are you frightened?"

She's terrified. He's her nightmare come to life. He's a demon, a prince of darkness, a terror.

And because Jenny is terrified of Julian, she'll play his game. She's just not so sure that she really wants to win.

* * *

**prompt** (courtesy of katarik on dw)**:** Forbidden Game, Julian/Jenny, _for fear of little men_

**End Note**: This ficlet was written in response to a prompt on the livejournal doomed ships comment fic-a-thon. I haven't tried my hand at FG fic in _years_ but I reread it recently when I bought the new release of it back in June. When I saw that someone had put up a Julian/Jenny prompt, I just had to try. I hope it came out okay!

- _stress, 09.19.10_


End file.
